Perfect guy for my daughter!
I grew up with a visualized dream of getting married to a 'Pari' as every other straight guy does. Prior to sitting in a mandap and hearing to chanting mantras recited by pandit ji, I had to climb big mountains, crawl through narrow tunnels and bump into many obstacles of life. Now after going through all this I realize the mountains weren't high but the narrow tunnel were extremely narrow and I bumped into an obstacle too big to get over.
My name is Nadees Duka. I was born in a semi-orthodox Maharashtrian Hindu family, yet a modern one! I'm graduated. I pursued Bachelor In Commerce from Jashbhai Maganbhai Patel College of Commerce with average marks! Thenceforth, I do 9-5 job in a multi-national company! Fortunately, I earn better than my fellow batchmates. RS 54,000 as basic salary. Perhaps, I feel, it is good payment for a BCom graduate in his second year of service. Engineers/Doctors doesn't earn as much.
It was 24th July, 2014 and I was having my lunch in square cubicle which my aai had packed! Suddenly, I get a phone call and the display read 'High Court Calling' (That's my aai's contact name). I hurriedly fetched my phone and received the call.
'Nadees Karyalay nantar laukar ghar ye!!' (Son, come home quickly after office) she says with her voice filled with excitement.
'Ka kaay zala?' (Why what happened), I asked skeptically.
'Mi tumhala sangen ghari yeun.' (I'll tell you once you come home), she said furiously.
'Okay' I said and hung the phone up!
Oblivion of the fact that I'm going to enter the narrow tunnel once I reach home. After office hours I cleared my mess of rainbow files, wrapped by stuff and ready to go! Laptop bag, check. Tiffin, Check. Car keys, Check. Myself, check! (:P)
I reached home exhausted and 'Get Ready, we are going to see a rishta for you.!' said my sister doing her mascara. Her name was Anu Fatah! She lived two lanes across my house. Aai hunt her bahu through her relative Sharma uncle. Doesn't matter how tired, how restless you are but when it comes to seeing your "going-to-be" wife, you get excited and make up yourself with best possible clothes you have. I did the same!
My heartbeat accelerated as Aai banged the large round handle back and forth on the door. My heartbeat doubled as her Hitler daddy welcomed us inside with an obliged smile on his face which had blackheads all over. He wore a regular safari, 1960 rado in his right hand and a big amethyst ring in his middle finger in the same hand. Her mom seemed to be kind. She had a scar on her upper lip, she tried to hid with her lipstick which matched with her blood red bindi. Her arms flaunted heavy gold bangles, her nose a huge nose ring and wore radiant green saree. She looked like a warning jacket at a construction site.
My beating heart suddenly froze when Anu stepped in to the living room. She wore a black saree with golden mirror work. Her intense gaze was fixed on the wheatish floor and her milky white face glowed like her aai's saree. Her hair kissed her marshmallow cheeks which her aai later tucked behind her ears. I was flattered.
The girl liked me, I loved her. My parents liked her parents, her parents liked mine. I liked them but they disliked me and hence rejected me. And here I encounter the biggest obstacle whilst crawling this already narrow tunnel. Reason being I'm not qualified enough for her daughter i.e. I didn't climb big mountains and my earnings are pretty low. (as she was a Doctor. Not a MBBS or BDS doctor. Instead a Physiologist).
According to Indian traditions, the engagement ceremony is done a few months before the marriage. This ceremony is a formal announcement of the impending marriage and the start of the planning for the big event. The father of the groom requests the father of the bride for the bride’s hand in marriage with his son. The bride’s father wants to make sure that the groom has no skeletons in his closet. Unfortunately poor credentials were the biggest skeleton he could ever hunt.
'Hum aapko batate hai.' said the hitler dad in his loathing voice. We left with our hand folded and heads down. Subsequently, after few days, I got a message on a Facebook. It was from Anu. It read "You're a really nice guy. I really like you. But you're only B.Com. and roughly earn RS 60,000. On top of that you guys are very modern and my dad says I won't be able to adjust in your family which would lead to serious misunderstandings. It's a NO from our side. GOODBYE" The whole message was digestible except for those last two words in capitals. It hurt.
Her dad wanted a person who had dozens of degrees, who is amongst the world's richest person, person who is good looking, should be modern but only up to where his daughter can adjust, should be humble, should be well mannered, should be an ideal guy, he shouldn't have any past etc etc. The demand list continues and never ends. I suggested her to marry her dad. Perfect hero without any infirmities.
Well, this is the sad scenario of our society. There can be personal reasons and one's wish as well but I believe it should be relevant. Not giving daughter's hand in marriage just because he is JUST B.Com. or he earns decent but not enough are not solid reasons. Our creator, sustainer, protector, provider, cherisher, nourisher, curer is only ONE. The divine being, up above the clouds. The RABB! Then why worry about your girl's well being with her husband? Not that his daughter would sleep starving? RS 60,000 are enough in today's date to live a semi-luxury life! It's high time, parents of our society broadens their mentalities and think out of the box being optimists.
Another important conclusion from above story is girl's education. I don't say they shouldn't study. They should. They should get as many doctorate degrees as possible. But what is the jist of studying when it can't settle you in life. This is for the girls who think they are more educated and earn better than their husbands. That's fine. But don't make your husband feel inferior. It can have adverse affects on your personal and professional life. 78% of divorces annually are the consequence of Inferior-superior complex between the married couples.
Appreciate everything and everyone. Peace and prosperity is never attained by wars!
Kudos!
My name is Nadees Duka. I was born in a semi-orthodox Maharashtrian Hindu family, yet a modern one! I'm graduated. I pursued Bachelor In Commerce from Jashbhai Maganbhai Patel College of Commerce with average marks! Thenceforth, I do 9-5 job in a multi-national company! Fortunately, I earn better than my fellow batchmates. RS 54,000 as basic salary. Perhaps, I feel, it is good payment for a BCom graduate in his second year of service. Engineers/Doctors doesn't earn as much.
It was 24th July, 2014 and I was having my lunch in square cubicle which my aai had packed! Suddenly, I get a phone call and the display read 'High Court Calling' (That's my aai's contact name). I hurriedly fetched my phone and received the call.
'Nadees Karyalay nantar laukar ghar ye!!' (Son, come home quickly after office) she says with her voice filled with excitement.
'Ka kaay zala?' (Why what happened), I asked skeptically.
'Mi tumhala sangen ghari yeun.' (I'll tell you once you come home), she said furiously.
'Okay' I said and hung the phone up!
Oblivion of the fact that I'm going to enter the narrow tunnel once I reach home. After office hours I cleared my mess of rainbow files, wrapped by stuff and ready to go! Laptop bag, check. Tiffin, Check. Car keys, Check. Myself, check! (:P)
I reached home exhausted and 'Get Ready, we are going to see a rishta for you.!' said my sister doing her mascara. Her name was Anu Fatah! She lived two lanes across my house. Aai hunt her bahu through her relative Sharma uncle. Doesn't matter how tired, how restless you are but when it comes to seeing your "going-to-be" wife, you get excited and make up yourself with best possible clothes you have. I did the same!
My heartbeat accelerated as Aai banged the large round handle back and forth on the door. My heartbeat doubled as her Hitler daddy welcomed us inside with an obliged smile on his face which had blackheads all over. He wore a regular safari, 1960 rado in his right hand and a big amethyst ring in his middle finger in the same hand. Her mom seemed to be kind. She had a scar on her upper lip, she tried to hid with her lipstick which matched with her blood red bindi. Her arms flaunted heavy gold bangles, her nose a huge nose ring and wore radiant green saree. She looked like a warning jacket at a construction site.
My beating heart suddenly froze when Anu stepped in to the living room. She wore a black saree with golden mirror work. Her intense gaze was fixed on the wheatish floor and her milky white face glowed like her aai's saree. Her hair kissed her marshmallow cheeks which her aai later tucked behind her ears. I was flattered.
The girl liked me, I loved her. My parents liked her parents, her parents liked mine. I liked them but they disliked me and hence rejected me. And here I encounter the biggest obstacle whilst crawling this already narrow tunnel. Reason being I'm not qualified enough for her daughter i.e. I didn't climb big mountains and my earnings are pretty low. (as she was a Doctor. Not a MBBS or BDS doctor. Instead a Physiologist).
According to Indian traditions, the engagement ceremony is done a few months before the marriage. This ceremony is a formal announcement of the impending marriage and the start of the planning for the big event. The father of the groom requests the father of the bride for the bride’s hand in marriage with his son. The bride’s father wants to make sure that the groom has no skeletons in his closet. Unfortunately poor credentials were the biggest skeleton he could ever hunt.
'Hum aapko batate hai.' said the hitler dad in his loathing voice. We left with our hand folded and heads down. Subsequently, after few days, I got a message on a Facebook. It was from Anu. It read "You're a really nice guy. I really like you. But you're only B.Com. and roughly earn RS 60,000. On top of that you guys are very modern and my dad says I won't be able to adjust in your family which would lead to serious misunderstandings. It's a NO from our side. GOODBYE" The whole message was digestible except for those last two words in capitals. It hurt.
Her dad wanted a person who had dozens of degrees, who is amongst the world's richest person, person who is good looking, should be modern but only up to where his daughter can adjust, should be humble, should be well mannered, should be an ideal guy, he shouldn't have any past etc etc. The demand list continues and never ends. I suggested her to marry her dad. Perfect hero without any infirmities.
Well, this is the sad scenario of our society. There can be personal reasons and one's wish as well but I believe it should be relevant. Not giving daughter's hand in marriage just because he is JUST B.Com. or he earns decent but not enough are not solid reasons. Our creator, sustainer, protector, provider, cherisher, nourisher, curer is only ONE. The divine being, up above the clouds. The RABB! Then why worry about your girl's well being with her husband? Not that his daughter would sleep starving? RS 60,000 are enough in today's date to live a semi-luxury life! It's high time, parents of our society broadens their mentalities and think out of the box being optimists.
Another important conclusion from above story is girl's education. I don't say they shouldn't study. They should. They should get as many doctorate degrees as possible. But what is the jist of studying when it can't settle you in life. This is for the girls who think they are more educated and earn better than their husbands. That's fine. But don't make your husband feel inferior. It can have adverse affects on your personal and professional life. 78% of divorces annually are the consequence of Inferior-superior complex between the married couples.
Appreciate everything and everyone. Peace and prosperity is never attained by wars!
Kudos!
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